Supporting Family Caregivers: 25 Heartwarming Ways You Can Make a Difference
- Kim Moy
- Nov 9
- 6 min read
Updated: Nov 10
Being a family caregiver can be an incredibly challenging and isolating experience. However, the love and support of friends and family can make a world of difference. If you have a family caregiver in your life, here are 25 thoughtful ways you can show your support and brighten their journey. And if you are a caregiver, you can give this list to your friends and family if they ask "how can I help?" and you don't know what to say.
Social & Emotional:
Text Messages: A simple "I'm thinking of you" text can go a long way. In the chaos and monotony of caregiving, knowing that someone cares can provide a much-needed emotional boost. Some caregivers say it’s especially wonderful when there’s no expectation to reply, since their lives are often hectic and stressful without having yet another thing on their “to do” list. You can simply text “I’m thinking of you. No need to reply, just wanted to say hi.”
Phone Calls: Take a few minutes to touch base with a phone call. A friendly conversation can be a welcome distraction and a chance for the caregiver to share their experiences. Consider establishing a monthly check-in call time. Also consider texting a day or a few hours ahead of time to check when it’s a good time to talk, since spontaneous phone calls can be stressful or interrupt their necessary routines when they are time-starved.
Consider Video Calls for Gatherings: If common friends are gathering, but the caregiver cannot attend in person due to caregiving responsibilities, see if FaceTime, Zoom, etc., are possibilities. Or have the group record a message to relay to the caregiver.
Greeting Cards and Postcards: Send snail mail to brighten their day. A thoughtful card can be a simple yet powerful way to show your support.
Arrange for a Visit: Since it’s often hard for a caregiver and their ill loved one to go out, make plans to visit them. It could be just for 15 minutes or a few hours, depending on their bandwidth and yours. Consider bringing flowers, a takeout meal, snack, or dessert, but your presence is what’s most appreciated.
Keep Trying to Get Together: Despite the challenges, continue trying to make plans to get together. Sometimes the caregiver can’t attend special events or get-togethers due to caregiving responsibilities. The effort alone shows your commitment to maintaining your relationship.
Listen and Give Space: Provide opportunities for the caregiver to talk, vent, laugh, or express themselves. Sometimes, all they need is someone willing to listen without judgment, disbelief, or interjecting “have you tried xxx?”
Ask for Updates: Inquire about the caregiver and the person they're caring for. Beyond medical updates, you can ask about new interests, skills, or book recommendations. It shows genuine interest in their lives. Many caregivers suffer from isolation and loneliness, so keeping in touch to keep their worlds as open as possible is very helpful.
Give Updates: In your conversations, keep the caregiver up to date on things happening in your life and the lives of those you both know, IF they’re up to it. You may want to ask first if the caregiver would like to hear updates on your life & your mutual friends/family members. Make sure they say yes before telling them. In some cases, it can trigger sadness and envy for a lifestyle they’re unable to enjoy. In other cases, the caregiver wants to know how people they care about are doing, so they don’t feel completely disconnected from others.
Learn About the Illness: Read articles or watch videos about the illness to better understand the potential symptoms, seriousness, and complexities the caregiver and their loved one are dealing with. In the case of ME/CFS and Long COVID, this also means understanding that researchers are still trying to figure out what's causing the debilitating illness and that there is no known cure to date.
Reach Out to the Chronically Ill Person to Prevent Isolation:
If the ill person has bandwidth for conversations, reach out to chat with them. In some cases, the family caregiver is the only person they interact with on a daily basis. This can be limiting to both the person who is ill and their family caregiver. Make sure to ask the ill person if they prefer to chat via email, text, phone, video conference, etc. Or take a few minutes to send them a greeting card or postcard to brighten their day – which will also brighten the caregiver’s day.
Acknowledge Their Strengths Outside Caregiving:
Recognize that their lives may feel small and restricted, but their minds, hopes, dreams, and wishes are not. Validate their aspirations beyond their caregiving responsibilities. If they have an area of expertise that you need assistance with, consider asking if they have time/capacity to help you. This helps acknowledge that they are MORE than a caregiver by tapping into their skills, interests, and/or knowledge base.
Send a Small Gift: Make or buy a small gift online or at a local store and send it out of the blue (not necessarily during the holidays or a birthday) as a way to show you’re thinking of the caregiver. It will be a delightful surprise.
Be an Ally on Social Media:
This could mean liking, sharing, or reposting social media posts about the illness, whether it’s from the caregiver’s social media account or from an association or disability advocacy community’s post about the illness. For ME and Long COVID, these organizations include #MEAction, Bateman Horne, SolveME, Open Medicine Foundation, etc. For caregiving social media posts, you can follow, like, and repost from Caregiver Wisdom’s social media accounts. :)
Advocacy Support: Get involved in advocacy efforts related to their situation. Offer your support for their advocacy initiatives and help raise awareness about their cause. In addition to reposting a social media post they share, you could sign a petition or contact your elected officials with an email or phone call. Often, advocacy organizations provide sample scripts to help you figure out what to say.
Household & Practical:
Help with Errands: Offer to run errands, like picking up groceries or pharmacy prescriptions. Or take their car in for an oil change. These everyday tasks can be overwhelming for caregivers who are already managing a lot.
Bring Home-Cooked Meals or Baked Goods: While you’re cooking or baking for yourself, make an extra batch for the caregiver and their family. It's a tangible way to show you care and provide a break from cooking.
Give Gift Cards for Takeout/Delivery: Give the gift of convenience with restaurant gift cards. This allows caregivers to enjoy a meal without the hassle of cooking or going out.
Help with Special Projects: Offer assistance with special projects, like cleaning the house, fixing something broken, tackling yard work, and organizing files/closets/photos. These tasks often get neglected and can make a big difference to their daily lives.
Provide Respite Relief for the Caregiver: If possible, be available to tend to the ill loved one, allowing the caregiver a much-needed break. This may mean helping prep a meal and/or just sitting in the next room to be available in case there’s an emergency.
Childcare Support for Partner Caregivers: Caregivers with kids may appreciate help with childcare. Offer to babysit young children or take older children out for an activity, allowing the caregiver a break from active parenting. You could also offer ferrying kids to/from activities. If you both have kids in the same activity, you could propose carpooling and do the lion’s share of the driving.
Research Community Programs and Support Groups: Find community programs and support groups that can help the caregiver with helpful information, respite services, and other types of support. Many caregivers try to do everything on their own and burn out.
Find Home Services: If their budget allows, help the caregiver find and hire home services, such as a house cleaner, gardener, handyman, paid caregiver, babysitter, etc. Even though getting hired help can help alleviate a caregiver’s workload, searching and hiring for these services can be challenging if they’re feeling overwhelmed.
If You’re Handy with Technology, Provide Tech Support:
You can offer to help automate tasks (e.g., set up prescription auto refills, autopay for monthly bills, etc.), share helpful apps, research technology when they need to update their electronic devices or equipment, and/or troubleshoot technical problems they encounter.
Help Schedule and/or Drive to Medical Appointments: There are often many doctor and dental appointments that need to be scheduled. See if you could take some of this off of the caregiver’s plate and spend 5-10 minutes calling a medical office to make an appointment. If possible, offer to drive the patient to some appointments so the caregiver can take a break. You could also offer to drive the caregiver to/from appointment of their own.
Supporting family caregivers doesn't always require grand gestures. Small, thoughtful acts often make the biggest impact. By incorporating these 25 ideas into your interactions, you can provide meaningful support to the caregivers in your life. Remember, your presence and thoughtfulness go a long way in making their journey a little brighter.
Editor's Note: Many thanks to the caregivers who contributed ideas to this list! If you have more ideas to add, email me at kim@caregiverwisdom.net.
